Wednesday, October 10, 2012

SlutWalk Norfolk 2012

 This past Saturday I attended the SlutWalk in Norfolk.  I had been waiting for months after first hearing about it coming to Norfolk, and was so excited to march with my fellow “sluts”. 
See the news story here

SlutWalk began in Toronto in 2011, in response to a remark made by a representative of the Toronto police stating: “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized”.  In this one statement the Toronto police:  

  1.   Showed their serious lack of knowledge (most convicted rapists admit they don’t remember what the victim was wearing, actually they mostly look at the shoes of the victim to determine the ability to run away or fight back (break out those steel toed docs ladies!!!! )
  2. Blamed the victim, it is such bullshit that the POLICE would create a situation where they are telling women if they get rapped it may be because of something SHE did. Fuck, it is ridiculous how many sexual assault stories I have heard from women where the first thing they were asked by their “loved ones” after telling them they were assaulted were things like “well, what were you wearing” or “did you lead him on” or “you should have….(insert things such as fight back, got away, not been there, not been alone, not have blah blah blah blah) all that shit is victim blaming. They are taking someone who has just had a horrible thing happen to them by some fucking asshole and instead of comforting them, they are blaming them. When will people understand it is not our fault! It is NEVER OUR FAULT!!! Don’t fucking act like or insinuate I asked for what was done to me, or I wanted it.
  3. Shamed women’s sexuality, bodies, and choice to wear what the hell ever we want. Slut shaming needs to end. A woman’s sexual promiscuity is no one’s business and does not warrant a sexual assault against them. The term slut itself carries a negative connotation, used as an insult, aimed predominantly AT WOMEN! Why should a women be judged by how often or infrequent she has sex, or by how many lovers she chooses to take or not to take. It is a personal choice. Sexual pleasure should not be shameful nor should it have negative cogitations associated with it. Women have lived with that shit for millennium, it needs to stop.
So, I just showed what the Toronto police insinuated, however, I also showed what society at large believes and feels. This is why SlutWalks are taking place all over the world, from New York to London to India. If you area a survivor ask yourself, were you made to feel shame, in any way in the wake of your assault, or now, even if it has been decades, do you still feel ashamed or at fault? Why do you feel that? What made you/who made you feel that way? If you are not a survivor, is your friend, your family member, your partner? How did you react when they told you? How did others react? Do you find your answers startling? Insightful? Eye opening?

At the SlutWalk on Saturday, I showed up wearing what some would consider slutty attire, though it really wasn’t much different then what I would normally wear on a night out. I had my sign, spray painted with lyrics from bikini kill and 7 year bitch, I had my best slut friend by my side, and we marched with other liked minded individuals, of all ages, races, gender expressions and orientations. We chanted and screamed and paraded, and then we shared our stories. Well, I didn’t share mine, I couldn’t bring myself to stand in front of so many people and tell my stories. But other women came forward and they were the most heart wrenching things imaginable. There was this one young woman who came forward, and in her I saw myself. Like me her innocence and child hood was taken from her early on. Like me, she became a hollow shell of herself, like me she blamed and physically punished herself. Like me she still has all those scars. I cried for her, and all those other women, and for myself and my friends. And looked around to see the circle of people surrounding me, all with tears and anger and relief in their eyes, it was an experience like no other. It was possibly one of the single most moving experiences in my life.

One a lighter note, we also got to witness Ramon Colorado of "Norfolk Dirt" get arrested. Now don’t judge me, cause ya know I have no respect for pigs, but man seeing that dumb ass get arrested was so fucking AWESOME. Long story short, this dumb ass, well known for his anti PETA antics, decided to take a personal stand against SlutWalk. He did this by insults, propaganda, harassment, and showing up to the walk with his little notebook filming his exploits, all the while having a warrant out for his arrest. So the cops snagged him. You can see his video shenanigans here. I especially liked the fact that he ignores and does not reply to the questions asked by the woman he encounters at the back of the line, then prompts her to “keep speaking” to get her message out, while she patiently waits for his explanations. What a scum bag.

update!!!! The "scum bag" is dead!!! He was shot and killed in a drug store, allegedly he cut in line, acted like an asshole, peppered spray the guy then pulled his gun. Having seen how arrogant, confrontational, and unstable this dude was, I totally believe this guys story, and his self defense plea. The guy is out on bail, read about it here.

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