Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Death: My Love

Every birthday, for the last 5 years, I have made the same wish before blowing out my candles. I make SURE I always have candles to blow out and I never told anyone what that wish was, incase it wouldn't come true if I did. This year however, I decided I would not make that wish. See, this wish, which was always the same, was "please, let Spit live one more year". Spit was my dog, I have had her sense I was 21. This past year she became very sick. She has been crippled with a neurological disorder and went on medication that extended her mobility some what for the past 6 months. However, for the past month and a half she has gotten progressivly worse, and I had to help her walk, eat, drink, got out side, go potty, everything. So I decided I would not wish for another year, and I would just wish that she will have an easy way out. Well, today, two days before I was to make that wish, she passed away, at home, in the bedroom, with us and our other dogs sleeping next to her, and even tho its fucking killing me, I am so grateful that she went out on her own. No rushing her to the vet, no deciding when the time is right to put her to sleep, no having her die in my arms after giving her that shot. No leaving her in some sterile cold vet hospital. Now I just have to wait to pick up her ashes. Fuck I am going to miss her.