You Gotta See It: The Woman

I watched  this tonight on netflix, and it was so good! I found out after watching it that it's actually a squeal to a movie called Offspring. But I watched "The Woman" and totally enjoyed it without having seen the first one. The movie begins with this creepy dude finding a feral woman in the woods, he captures her, takes her home to his family, ties her up in a shed with the goal of trying to civilize her (or so he clams). Then all hell breaks lose!
The actress who plays the "woman" (Pollyanna McIntosh) embodies the role so freaking well. Her body language, and her facial expressions, everything, is just perfect. She is a amazon of a woman, she is fucking wild!!!! totally in love with her.
The quality of the film is really good too. Who ever was in charge of the lighting, is a fucking genius. There's one scene at the beginning where the woman is in a cave, and only her eyes and the bridge of her nose are visible, its so primal. In another scene, the mother (played by Angela Bettis, you know May!!! love her!!!) anyway in this one scene she kind of slinks up from the back ground into her daughters room and its soooo fucking creepy, just because of the way its lit.
The sound track is weird though, it's one of those movies where the music at first doesn't seem to really match whats going on, but then you realize it makes the scenes even more thrilling by the strange juxtaposition. The ending is pretty fucking classic too, throwing a real twist on everything. Now I have GOT to see the first one, and hope there will be a third!
UPDATE: I turn on Chiller and behold, they are playing Offspring AND the woman, back to back. So I get to watch the offspring, however, it's edited....so all the T&A is blurred out....boooooo.....but it was pretty good, not as good as the sequel, but alright. much more low budget and the cinematography isn't as good, but its got some cool parts.

You Gotta See It: The Divide

We rented this movie last night from redbox and I thought it was pretty awesome. It's one of those movies where the whole time you're urging the main character to just KILL EVERYONE! The plot of the movie is simple, a nuclear bomb is dropped in a city, a group of strangers end up together in a bomb shelter in the basement of their apartment building, add in some creepy military government plot that causes these people to be locked in, and mofo's start getting crazy and start suffering from fallout, shit gets intense. The movie's point is to show how desperate people will do desperate things, and people will grasp for power and control over others when in a shitty situaton they have no power or control over. Makes you question, were these people crazy to begin with or does their environment make them so? Would you fall in line, bow down, even give your body to those stronger than you, even if its for protection, for food, or for peace. Would you do your share of the dirty work? In the end are you just as self-serving and cutthroat as those you condemn?

Eat Me: Salad

The easiest, yet most delicious salad you could EVER make is so simple even I can do it. All you need is:

• Strawberries sliced

• Spinach

• Red Onion sliced

• Olive Oil

• Balsamic Vinegar (a good bottle)

• Salt and Sugar (pinch of each)

Place the strawberries and onion in a bowl and sprinkle with salt and sugar. Pour some balsamic over it then some oil. Taste. Add oil and/or balsamic as needed to make the dressing, just keep tasting it so u don't get it too oily. Toss it, and pour over a bed of fresh spinach.... And enjoy!!!

You can also do a simple citrus salad just as easy but instead of strawberries use mandarin oranges that come in those little cups and instead of balsamic use red wine vinegar and a splash of the liquid from the orange cup. Just don't use any sugar or salt. Throw in the red onion and pour over spinach.

Craft Time: Framing Embroidery

So I put together this little tutorial on the simplest way to finish your embroideries. I was learning as I went, but they came out awesome. You will need:

• the embroidery...duhh
• a wooden hoop (painted a cool color and sealed with a fixative)
• a piece or thin fabric (for the back)
• iron
• towels
• pillowcase
• dish liquid

Ok, first things first, you have to clean the piece, so fill up a sink with lukewarm water and a tiny bit of dish soap.....and swoosh the embroidery around a little, don't go too crazy....

oops, too much dish soap 

Let that sit for about 10 minutes then rinse it off really good under running water. Now you have to pat it dry some, so place it in between two towels and pat away....Depending on the fabric you may have to let it sit in between those towels awhile, you want the fabric damp not wet.

Now its time to iron. Place your embroidery on a pillowcase, and with your iron on the correct setting, mine was on the highest cotton setting, start ironing. its a good idea to start it off by ironing it in between two pillowcases first to make sure your iron isn't too hot. then move on to ironing it straight up with the iron. iron it face down first then flip it. if your piece is really 3 dimensional, and you don't want to flatten it or it's really delicate or done on some fancy ass fabric, then keep it between the pillow cases and don't bare down too hard, mine didn't matter so I ironed the fuck outta it.

Now its time to frame! Place the outer hoop where you want it, and flip it over, then place that piece of back fabric down, this makes it look cool and protects all those loose and crazy threads back there. Now place the inner hoop and push it down. You will have to tighten the fabric and stretch them so its smooth on the front, if you embroider you already know all about that shit.

Trim the excess fabric now. the back fabric can be cut pretty close to the hoop, but the embroidered fabric needs enough over hang to fold down the inside edge of the hoop.

You may notice that the embroidery I am using has miraculously changed, this is because I had to re-soak the skull in the soap cause I got it dirty, be careful! Make sure your work area is clean!

Ok now back to the demo...See, nice over hang!!!

You can decide now if you want to iron the fabric overhang over the hoop so its easier to glue or not, the first one I glued I didn't iron but the rest I did, I found it faster to have it creased. Anyway, get your glue, I used this shit I found at the craft store, its pretty awesome. 

So, run an edge of glue on the top lip of the inner hoop as well as around the inside edge. Do it a few inches at a time. Fold and smooth the fabric down over the hoop to secure. 

Because the hoop is round you are gonna get bunching so go with it, try to make it as neat as possible and secure as possible.

And that's it, you're done!!! look how pretty!!!!

Art?: Crunch Time (part two)

Today I went to Jerry's to get my mats and they had some hideous gold frames on sale... So I bought 4. When I got home I began painting my bones and and while doing that had a great idea on what to do with the frames. I rushed out to the store and bought some stick on letters, then on each frame I spelled out the title of the piece. Then spray painted the whole frame black so when I peel off the letters the gold is left behind. I also decided to paint the embroidery hoops the same red as the bones, so they have come continuity within the grouping.

Art?: Crunch Time

In a couple weeks I am going to be in an art show, so of course I wait till the last couple weeks before then to start trying to get my shit together. I only had two Lino blocks carved (war and famine) and one print ready for framing (famine). So I have been frantically carving another block (pestilence) printed the other initial block (war) I had previously carved, hand embroidered two anatomy drawings (rib cage and pelvic), harvested a decomposed deer and peroxided the bones. But that's only the beginning, still on my to do list: fix my third carving (pestilence) and reprint it, carve the last limo block and print it (death), embroider two more pieces (phalanges and skull), paint the deer bones ( red enamel), paint the picture frames (black) and embroidery hoops (black), get to Jerry's to buy some mats, affix bones to frames, frame all four prints and all four embroideries.... and if I get all that done with time to spare I may do a few more stitched body parts, like a uterus or a vagina or some shit. The only thing is I have to hand over 30 percent of my sales, so I have to jack up the prices of my stuff, which fucking sucks. The only way I thought people would even consider buying my stuff was if it was cheap! So I doubt I will sell anything.

You Gotta Read It: Rat Girl A Memoir

Oh man, Kristin Hersh's book is pretty awesome, it reads more like a fantasy then a memoir. This is because, the lead singer of the Throwing Muses uses her own lyrical-esque story telling to create this surreal look back at a time of her life that was fantastical and hyper, full of hallucinations, and self discovery, and music that lived and forced its way out of her small frame as if possessed. See Kristin is a synesthete. She see's colors as a result of hearing music. She also, following a hit and run accident, began to constantly "hear music" which would haunt her until she played it and gave it substance. Add this to a girl with a crazy high IQ, who was raised by hippies, who was lead singer in a truly unique band, who was diagnosed with manic depression, who carried an imaginary snake around in a bag.. And who got knocked up young while still playing shows and recording their first record.... Add all that up with some of the most poetic characters imaginable, and well, you have quite an extraordinary read. S/N....I just wrote this blog on my phone, using some free blogger app, hopefully it publishes correctly if not I will fix it later :p

Slightly Greenish Thumb: Fittonia

AKA...Nerve plant, Mosaic plant, Silver net plant, Lace leaf, Painted net leaf, and Snakeskin plant. This is a low light, worry free plant, just the way I like it. All you need to do is remember to water it, which inst hard cause the leaves will get all wilted, but will perk right back up with a little H2O.  I love the look of this thing, with its bright green and pink leaves. Another cool thing about this plant it that it is also pest free! and you can find them cheap at any place with a gardening section, this one I got from Wally World for a dollars (I had too...I seen it there with no light and water all sad looking and I had to bring it home to nurse it back to health, I also got a silver veined one but that one didn't make it)

Thrift Store Score: Owl Planter

At the same place where I found those wooden deer, I also came across this adorable owl planter for a dollar. It was ugly, but I knew I could hook it up. Originally, it looked like it was horribly painted with a terracotta slip, so I decided to paint it with a Chinese red enamel paint, to give it the high gloss, glazed pottery look.









It turned out BEAUTIFUL. I don't know the age of it, probably 70's, on the bottom it says "japan" and the closest resemblance to anything I came across was this, tho the wings are different and mine has ears, so I am thinking mine is a replica of that original design. Ironically that one is white on terracotta and mine was the opposite.

Thrift Store Score: Grazing Fawns

While at the local Friends of the Library Book Sale, I noticed an open air flea market had set up across the street. Looking like a bunch of shit from where I was standing, I decide to go check it out anyway. Thankfully I did.... Behold the cutest hand carved wooden deer EVER!!!
They need some work however. I plan on cleaning them up sanding them down and re-staining them. They have some scratches and nicks and one has paint and candle wax dripped down its butt and side. Their antlers are also broken off, but I think I can find something to replace them with, even if its just twigs. I can't tell what were originally there but it seems like some sort of bone or antler.
These two buddies are huge too, measuring in at about 15" high and 7" across. I have no idea how old they are or where they came from, I have never seen anything like them before. However the way they are painted and the designs carved in them they seem like the may be from India or surrounding areas....the closet thing to them I found were these hailing from a seller in the UK, and like mine, it is also missing its horns. I got these both for a dollar (after complaining they were missing their horns).